When Bad Things Happen: Tools for Emotional Resiliency

When Life Knocks You Down

On Sunday, September 22, 2024, I had a bad day. A really bad day. Now, I’ve had my share of rough days, but this one felt like a personal attack.

I woke up full of excitement. I’d just completed the finishing touches to release my self-paced Heartbreak 911 program, I was finally getting back into my gym routine with my friend Stacey, and I had a day packed with amazing clients. It felt like one of those days where everything was falling into place.

But life had other plans.

I parked right in front of the gym, feeling like I was starting the day off strong. My car was a bit messy—I had art supplies in there from classes my son and I take, and my trunk was full of laundry. In Oregon, where I’ve lived since 1999, it’s common to feel secure enough to leave things in your car. So, I didn’t think twice about plopping my purse on the back seat.

I started my workout, feeling strong and powerful. Then, my Apple Watch started buzzing—fraud alerts. I brushed it off, wanting to stay focused on my workout. But I kept having this strange vision of myself shopping for makeup at Fred Meyer, as if my intuition was nudging me to stop by after class. Then I got more fraud alerts—this time from Fred Meyer. Wait a minute…

When I finally picked up my phone, I saw three fraud alerts, each for $500 at Fred Meyer. It took a moment for it all to click.

As I was about to leave, my friend offered to clean up my station. But as I walked out, the front desk lady stopped me. “The police are here. Your car was broken into.”

Tunnel vision hit me. Normally, I’m the calm one in a crisis, but not today. I kept thinking, I don’t have time for this. Over and over, like a broken record.

The police officer greeted me with, “Don’t you know better than to leave your purse on the backseat?” That was it. I broke down. “Do not shame me right now,” I said through tears. “I’m a single mom, I own a business, all my money and cards were in that purse…” and I started sobbing.

I couldn’t even log into my apps to freeze my cards—my puffy, tear-streaked face wasn’t recognized by Face ID. As more notifications rolled in, I felt like my life was unraveling.

Recognizing the Body-Mind Connection

Have you ever felt like your power was stolen? Like someone took something precious from you? I was pissed, sad, afraid, and guilt-ridden over my careless mistake.

Thankfully, my friend was there to help me refocus. She reminded me of the tools I have to regulate my nervous system. I started breathing deeply, tapping, and asking my higher self for guidance.

As the day went on, I began to piece together what had happened. The thieves had been joyriding around Clackamas County, draining my business account. I’d forgotten I even had a card for that account in my wallet.

I felt powerless, stressed, and utterly violated. But here’s the thing: it’s how we handle bad days that truly matters. Stress, if not processed right away, can get stored in the body. I knew that.

So, I spent the day processing my emotions, asking for higher guidance, and focusing on releasing instead of holding onto the pain.

I woke up the next day feeling clear, rested, and ready to tackle the aftermath. This was a major stressor, but it also brought an opportunity to heal and grow.

Meditation and Emotional Release

This experience reminded me of what my EMDR therapist told me a few years ago: sometimes, a smaller event can bring up older, unresolved traumas. It’s like the bigger pain is being packaged into a smaller, more manageable container. If your reaction to an event feels disproportionate, it could be linked to something much deeper that’s ready to be released.

And that made sense. In 2019, our neighborhood caught on fire due to negligence. In 2021, someone I trusted embezzled $25,000 from my business. And in 2023, a new therapist at Soma stole supplies while I was on vacation. I never fully processed the anger, betrayal, despair, fear, and shame from these events. It was all coming up now, ready to be healed and released.

This is why I love the tools I teach in Soma Tribe—they work. Yesterday, I sat with those tools and released the pain that was ready to go. I decided not to let these people take my power. I wouldn’t get lost in anger. I would heal.

Body-Based Release: Moving the Pain Out

My friend Daniel has been studying Cranial Sacral therapy, and I’ve been fortunate to benefit from his learning. I had a head injury earlier this year, and the lingering inflammation was impacting my ability to focus. A few sessions with Daniel, and I already feel so much clearer in my mind and better in my body.

Peter Levine, a pioneer in trauma therapy, explains that trauma isn’t just in our minds—it’s stored in our bodies. Techniques like Cranial Sacral therapy and Qi Gong help release that trapped energy. Qi Gong, in particular, is a powerful way to move stress and anxiety out of the body.

If you’re new to Qi Gong, here’s a great beginner routine to help release stress and anxiety.

Creativity and Play: Healing Through Joy

When we’re stressed, play is often the last thing we think about. But it’s one of the most important things we can do to reset our nervous system. Chanting vowels, singing, dancing, or watching a comedy—these simple acts of joy help restore balance.

Personally, I love using creativity to release tension. Neurographic Art, in particular, is a favorite. It’s a powerful way to process big emotions through drawing.

Here’s a fantastic beginner tutorial if you’re interested in trying Neurographic Art.

Even with all these tools, I sometimes forget to use them in the heat of the moment. That’s why it’s so important to have a friend who can remind you. The goal is to avoid letting your nervous system become so dysregulated that it forms a new trauma pattern.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Bad Days

We all have bad days, but those days can also be opportunities for deep healing. By recognizing the body-mind connection, using tools like meditation, emotional release, and creative play, we can transform these challenges into powerful moments of growth.

Remember, it’s not about avoiding bad days—it’s about how we respond to them. So the next time life throws you a curveball, take a deep breath, tap into your inner resources, and let yourself heal.

And if you ever feel like you’re in the thick of it, just remember: you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, learning and growing, one bad day at a time.